SHTF blog - a TEOTWAWKI Survival Blog

Keeping the Damn Deer Out of a Survival Garden

Ranger Man — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 10:00:30 +0000

I didn’t think for a minute a 6′ fence would keep deer out by itself. I researched how to keep deer out of your garden before the ground was even turned over. I knew they’d be an issue. Deer proofing advice largely included:

get a dog
buy a bunch of Deer Off to spray
build an 8′ fence
build an electric fence
go to a hairdresser for bags of human hair to spread everywhere
spread blood meal around
hang bars of soap around

Everybody had a different solution, but for every “solution” I found there were just as many people saying “that didn’t work for me” (except the 8′ fence). I figured I’d start with a 6′ fence and see how the first year went. I knew a green fence wasn’t the ideal choice, because deer have a hard time seeing it, but it was more visually pleasing. If I still had problems after the first year, I could do a variety of things:

tie blaze orange ribbon on the fence for deer to see
build a 2nd, shorter fence away from the first fence making it difficult for them to jump 2 fences at once
spread a bunch of good sized boulders (come cheap delivered) about 4′ away from the fence making it difficult for them to get next to the fence to jump it
fix boards to the poles so I could make the fence 2′ higher

Do you like pumpkin pie? I do, so I planted pumpkins for pie. I planted jack-o-lanterns for the kids to carve up. Think we’re getting any?

“Awwwww, ain’t that lil’ deer some cunnin’.”

Yeah, it’s kinda cute – cuter than that damn grass that grew up from the friggin’ straw “mulch” I laid everywhere …. but just look at the lil’ darlin’ – “awwwww ….”

No, that little fawn didn’t jump the fence. There are two openings in the fence where I plan to build a swinging gate (next year). I had the openings fenced over at the beginning of the season …. but …. let’s just say the cute little deer walked right in.

The pics were taken about 6:30 in the morning from inside the house. The wife was still in bed and I yelled “there’s a deer in the garden.” She flew out of bed mumbling something with “damn deer.” Then it was clear she was going out to shoo it off.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said.

“It’s going to eat all the summer squash!” she returned, stepping into shoes and going out on the deck.

The deer saw her and jumped into the fence. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said again. She agreed and came back in. The deer jumped into the fence a few more times, hit its head against a post at one point, then found an exit and walked away with a headache.

Ugh – damn deer.

Garden 2010 was a learning experience.

- Ranger Man

BTW: One bright note was that I found a friendly lady on Craigslist that lives nearby. She delivered horse poo-poo straight to my house. I’ll compost it for next year’s garden. More to poop to come!

Laying Waste to Groundhogs that Lay Waste to Gardens

Ranger Man — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 10:00:50 +0000

First it was Satan’s Seed and then came the damn woodchuck! Have I ever told you how much I HATE woodchucks? Yes, I did. Well another one came this year, laying waste to all of my hard work. Look at this ….

D-E-V-O-U-R-E-D – overnight. If it was a TEOTWAWKI situation and I’d planted survival seeds, the little bastard would have been the death of me! Cabbage – gone! Broccoli – gone! Beans – gone! Peas – gone! Spinach, lettuce and radishes – all gone! This really drained the life out of my gardening spirit. All that work, time and money – digested in the belly of the beast.

I don’t have any pictures of the groundhog, because by the time I finally saw the thing I had already determined it was game on. I wasn’t interested in shooting it with a camera. No, think compound bow.

Killing it wasn’t something I really wanted to do, but I tried the Havahart trap once to no avail. So after a few attempts, from a 2nd story window at a distant shot, the groundhog went down.

I’m okay with hunting and killing a deer or other animal that I’m going to eat; in fact, I think it’s far more respectable than just going to the grocery store for pre-packaged, growth hormone and carbon monoxide injected beef. At least with hunting you’re closer physically and mentally to your food source, but killing a critter that I’m not going to eat is harder to …. “digest.” I had to justify the entire process as defending food rather than getting food. I know, I could have eaten the groundhog and made soap from its fat, but ….. maybe next time.

Of course, the thing about a groundhog is that there is no such thing as “A” groundhog. So it wasn’t a big surprise when another one showed up. I really didn’t want to go through the slaying process again (I truly felt bad), so I tried the trap ….. again ….. only this time a SHTF homie told me to skip the vegetables and throw potato chips in the trap. He said it worked for him. So that’s what I did …..

As I was setting the trap I sent telepathic communication singles to the ground hog, saying “Here you go, buddy. This is your chance. Walk in, dine on tasty chips and wait for me to transport you to a magical land where you can live the rest of your days in peace and freedom …… or die.”

The trap sat there – empty – for days. Eventually I set the bow aside and opted for the very quiet, .22 single-shot rifle with sub-sonic rounds. I know, I could have also eaten this groundhog and made soap from its fat, but ….. maybe next time.

Nothing zaps your gardening energy like seeing your crops get devoured and having to kill to defend it. It sucks.

Tomorrow – the damn deer!

- Ranger Man

Satan’s Straw Seed Planted Throughout the Garden

Ranger Man — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 10:00:12 +0000

Do you know what this is a pic of?

Satan’s Seed!

Remember I told you I bought a bunch of straw to use as mulch throughout my new garden space, between rows, unused areas, etc.? The shit was FULL of seeds! ACK! It was A-W-F-U-L. When I first realized what was happening I thought I’d be able to pull it all up, but that was a completely unrealistic idea – the shit was everywhere - and thick!

Call me a novice or just numb, but I thought ALL straw was seedless! Isn’t that what differentiates it from hay? I’d even spread this stuff around other parts of the yard, over grass seed. Needless to say the grass seed didn’t take and instead I’ve got areas of lawn that grows twice as fast as everywhere else. Waste of time and money! Look what Satan’s Straw Seed became ….

What started out as beautiful new garden space quickly became an ugly fenced in field. Seedlings were surrounded, struggling for light and water against what was supposed to help them. BLARGH :-S !

Could it get any worse?

Yes.

Much.

- Ranger Man

BTW: Do you know what’s friggin’ GROSS? Slugs! It was raining one day and I figured it was a good time to go slay garden slugs. I killed A LOT, sliced them with the hoe. I came back later to kill more and I found a startling discovery – THEY EAT EACH OTHER!

So friggin’ gross, hanging out next to the herb bed chowing down on each other. You can even see their slime in the pics. I killed the cannibal slugs after taking the pictures. Blech ….. but I guess if the shit went down and good grub was hard to come by ….. I’d eat slugs, too.

Survival gardens, bringing more than SHTF vegetables to your TEOTWAWKI plate.