First off, thanks to all the SHTF homies that have sent or left notes thanking me for posting again. It’s encouraging . . . kinda leaves me all teary eyed and shit. I particularly like the notes from SHTF homegirls saying stuff like, “Welcome back you sexy SHTF stallion. We neeeeeed you.” . . . . . . . . okay, no chics sent a note like that, but let’s make pretend.
So yesterday I kicked a post off about the demise of Fatty the groundhog. I have his distant relative now roaming my yard space gobbling up clover and sniffing the potato patch. My raised bed is built out of concrete blocks and fenced for deer, so he’s not going there. In any case, I’m done with these little bastards.
BUT, Ranger Man did feel a little bad about DESTROYING Fatty, so I’m opting to give this new character the opportunity to walk into a Havahart Trap and save his own life. I’ll even give him a free 10 mile ride in the car before setting him free . . . . but NOOOOOOO, do you think he’ll walk into it after a few organic carrots and an apple? No, I only got THIS:
Friggin’ Raccoon!
Oh my God, didn’t he stink. I’m guessing he was trapped during the night - logical guess. The Mrs told me about him when I got home from work. Poor bastard sat in the sun all day, standing in his own piss and shit with flies buzzing everywhere. You can see where he tried to dig out. Didn’t happen. I contemplated giving him a one way trip up the road, but I couldn’t be bothered. I popped the door and he happily exited.
Ironically, I was bitching about the groundhog today, and someone told me they’d caught one in a Havahart trap with peanut butter smeared on fresh lettuce. That’s my next attempt, but if that doesn’t work . . . . there’s always the bow.
All of this bring us to a valuable SHTF lesson, party peeps. A lesson beyond protecting your garden turf from vicious and wild woodchucks, a lesson about Havahart traps . . . they’re so friggin’ SHTF sexy. I mean, think about it. When TEOTWAWKI hits and your food supplies are running low you’ll want to conserve energy, so hunting won’t be a good use of your time . . . but if you can set a trap - yessah! The Havahart traps keep your food FRESH, too. No need to tell the family what’s in the SHTF stew, it’s whatever landed in the trap. Don’t ask, don’t tell - just eat, or make a game out of it - “Guess what’s in today’s soup.” Yummy!
Havahart traps, YOUR gear for post-TEOTWAWKI eats.
- Ranger Man
BTW: ummmm . . . . . . . yeah.
8 responses so far ↓
1 Chris // Jul 1, 2008 at 10:11 pm
It is good to see you back and posting. I have never had to deal with woodchucks but when I bought my house from the proverbial cat lady. I had to get rid of almost 50 feral cats that she fed. I can tell you that a bolt action 22 with some sub-sonic rounds works quite well and doesn’t make a bunch of noise.
2 Harmony Hermit // Jul 2, 2008 at 7:13 am
Next time put a cover over the trap, burlap or canvas or some other cloth covering. It will camouflage the trap and keep the trapee quiet (and it’s the humane thing to do). And if you catch a skunk you will thank me for this advice.
You are not a man until you have had to deal with a PO’ed Pepe La Pew.(Hint, keep the trap covered until you are ready to release, wear very old throwaway clothes and running shoes when you do)
3 Flea // Jul 2, 2008 at 2:13 pm
God I hate raccoons, they are persistent little buggers.
4 Rushman // Jul 2, 2008 at 8:02 pm
Should have shoot that coon. You would if you ever had one sneek up on you fishing they are mean little bastards. Also got one of the ground hogs in my yard tonight. Yea!!!!!
5 Jennersen // Jul 2, 2008 at 9:10 pm
I am glad you are posting. It does relate to snares, good point.
6 Rebel // Jul 3, 2008 at 3:30 am
Rangerman,
its great to have your wit and wisdom adorning the interweb again. Welcome back.
7 c57asey // Jul 3, 2008 at 9:26 am
Cage trapping woodchucks——throw a few tender pine boughs in there with plenty of needles and see if the whistle pig goes for that…. consisently works for me. Southern white pine. Relocation is almost always against “the rules” [for good reasons] but if you know the relo area and have a good knowledge of its population and such……..
8 noisynick // Jul 5, 2008 at 6:30 am
Dump little fatty over on your least favorite neighbors alfalfa field they Love It……….
Seriously there good to eat as a Kid we ate them as often as we caught them. My mom stuffed them like a turkey and baked them in the oven.
Fine meal Pre or post SHTF…………..
Wouldn’t trade a steak for one though.
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