Yo yo yo! Nincognito is at it again with another guest post. His last post trashed my use of “survival ninja”. He e-mailed me after watching the recent Batman movie in such a TEOTWAWKI tizzy that he had to get his frustrations out into a post. Being the wicked nice dude that I am, who am I to deny Nincognito a forum to vent his aggression?
Before we begin, however – Kayleen Schaefer said a number of you responded to her via the Survivalism is Sexy post. Kayleen now has a more specific request for the Details magazine article she’s writing. If you live in the Baltimore / Washington D.C. area, she’s hoping you might contact her so she can visit and photograph your storeroom. Note: She DOES NOT want to photograph you (who would? lol – kidding – chill), nor will she give away your secret location. If you’re willing to spread the TEOTWAWKI word (and see your storeroom become famous) let her know pronto (hint: that means now). Contact “Kayleen” at Kayleen.Schaefer @ fairchildpub.com or by calling 212-630-3869
I saw the batman movie, and thought it SUCKed.
Sure, Heath Ledger was great, though the dialogue was a bit convoluted. But the rest of the movie… Just too long! Anything that puts my butt to sleep, or gets me looking at my watch too fast, is just done. What kind of hero jumps out the window to rescue the chick that he’s planning to nail, and leaves the entire party trapped with the Joker up in the Penthouse??? Not to mention, did anyone else notice that the bat-motorcycle didn’t seem to be going very fast? I had a scooter in high school that hauled more ass than that thing…
Anyhow, everyone I know is talking about how great the movie was. They say its dark, that it was interesting, blah blah. I want to focus on something that only a few people have picked up on- the fighting, of course…
The fighting method used is the somewhat dubious “KFM” (Keysi Fighting Method – or as I like to say, Kwickly-Fabricated-Method) whose only claim to fame is that it is in fact used in Batman. cool! A martial art made for video?! How totally useful! (BTW- Here’s a link to an article where a Times writer actually agrees with me).
Ranger Man asks, were the old Batman fighting scenes better?
While really cool looking on film (nice and slow, now!) it’s conspicuously absent from other notable fighting locations… The ring, the octagon, the street/police, and the military. When you look at fighting systems, they tend to be built around really specific ideas. For instance, ring-fighting methods are usually about standup/knockouts or chokes & submission holds, while if you watch a police officer fight someone (or just see some of their training) their tools are more for self-protection and the use of overwhelming force/control of an opponent. Kick ’em in the nuts? Sure fuckin’ thing, says Andy Griffith. Then there are the military forms- from what I read and am told, the US Army is teaching its people a combination of Brazilian Ju Jitsu and Muy Thai- stand up and ground fighting ring methods, that are taught mostly to build confidence and cohesion. I am sure that there are many Army folks who will argue, but hey, that’s how it goes.
Now, what’s the difference between the police and the army? Well, if you’re a state trooper, a sheriff, or city cop, you are a thousand times more likely to be on patrol alone when dealing with an opponent. Therefore, it’s critical that an officer can keep himself from getting stabbed, shot, jumped or killed without much or any help. Krav Maga has a whole segment of their system that is only taught to law enforcement- specifically because of the nature of the attacks and the violent nature of the responses. As for soldiers, they’re armed and armored to the teeth, and usually travel in groups- squad and tactics are probably more life-saving for the opposition that they will run into, rather than spending lots of time training hand to hand. Surely they get the basics (I’ve read that it takes about 270 hours of hand to hand to be considered an expert in the military- which is about half of the the yearly amount of training that most “intermediate” martial arts students get) but it’s not cost effective to spend tons of time making them into boxers and grapplers! That said, most traditional battlefield arts contain the same basics- it’s just a matter of how they’re trained (IE to look cool when you do kata forms, or to knock the shit out of some peckerhead picking a fight with you). And then, there are the real specific systems like Kali, Escrima, and etc.
So, as cool as Batman looked, it’s too bad that the producers didn’t leverage some real fighting – there are many incredibly talent ring, law enforcement and military experts out there who could’ve taken Batman a few steps closer to the brutal reality of real fighting arts.
Here is a really neat fight scene by comparison:
That action is insane, bro. Word.
– Ranger Man