*Ranger Man looks to the left, the right, then all around.*
“Shhhhh! They’re listening.”
Who?
The aliens, of course, the Illuminati, Big Brother, and Richard Simmons. You need to know how to make a tinfoil hat!
Not only are they listening, they’re reading our minds. Quick – don’t think! Don’t process these words in your head until you’ve protected your head. Protect yourself from the brain scans. Don’t worry. I’m here to help!
How to Make a Tinfoil Hat
A tinfoil hat is easy to make. Three basic steps and you’ll have all you need for effective brain wave protection.
- Buy a roll of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil. Buy only the heavy duty type. The slight extra cost is worth the extra protection. Pay with cash so “they” can’t track your purchase.
- Find your favorite hat.
- Construct! Just do what your daddy told you to do as you left for college, “Make sure you wrap it.”
I Wrapped my Browning Hat in Tinfoil
This design works well WTSHTF and EVERYONE is on board with the brain scan battle, but if you wear this outside before that stage, everyone will think you’re crazy.
Everyone except me anyway. Instead, line the INSIDE of your cap and no one will know. It’s less comfortable, but it still works.
Using a baseball cap won’t protect your cerebellum, but it should secure your thoughts. For complete cerebellum protection you’ll need a hat with a long neck flap that extends down the back to your shoulders. These hats are worn in the desert or for fishing and you can buy them right online.
A True Story, Somewhat Related Tinfoil Story
I knew a guy in college who we called “Wild Bill.” Wild Bill was at a party one rainy, stormy night, he got sloshed, and entered a game of truth or dare. He chose dare and they dared him to take off his clothes, wrap his body in tinfoil, go outside in the lightning storm, and run down the street and back. He took the dare, but unfortunately for him, there were cops outside! The cops stopped him and charged him with attempted suicide – LOL – it’s true!
– Ranger Man
10 comments
Hey Rangerman.
I everyone ought too have 2 of those hats and I htink you kow why………………
Have agreat day off your comments will be missed
The hat is cool. The manual looks good (think I’ve seen it) but could be like drinking water from a firehose for some people when it comes to company level ops and higher. An infantry squad and platoon manual or a ranger handbook might be better to start out with.
Maybe more seriously is too wrap your wallet in tinfoil. Because RFID tags are becoming the norm and they are easy to hack.
stay informed.
http://tv.boingboing.net/2008/03/19/how-to-hack-an-rfide.html
Tin foil hats might be silly but this is almost as bad and it’s for real. The Feds can tap into your cell phone, even when it’s turned off, and listen to your conversations through the mic. You have to take out the battery to stop them from being able to do it. Either that or just don’t carry a cell phone. Between internet monitoring and cell phone tapping they might as well be able to read our minds…
http://www.news.com/2100-1029_3-6140191.html
Hat-Schmat… I want that urban fighting manual! Lets face it, urban environments are where the crap is going down. The guys out in the boonies know enough to leave each other alone.
BTW… Congrats on the cross-post over on Rawles’ site! How does it feel to touch the hand of god?
Yes Urban S, this is true. And very dangerous. Big brother is watching you and not with good intentions.
Here’s an all encompassing DIY for all you tinfoilers out there:
http://zapatopi.net/afdb/
The testimonials prove it works!
[…] Holy CRAP – I’m going insane! Shhhhhhhhh . . . . *looks to the left and to the right* . . . . Big Brother is listening. Time to don your tinfoil hat. […]
[…] to promote open sources of information as part of their intelligence gathering process. Your tin foil hat won’t even protect you from this one. It wasn’t exactly clear what they intend to […]
Gawd, one of your best posts ever.