Get Her a Gun for Valentine’s Day!

Alright Gentlemen, consider this your friendly SHTF warning.  Valentines Day is only 3 weeks away. If I may offer my humble advice,

Get her a Gun for Valentines Day! Get her something sized for her hand. Yes, size does matter, but like most things, bigger isn’t always better. Perhaps a nice handgun nestled in a box of chocolates?

If you’d rather go with a long gun in a bed of roses, think about completing the package and getting her a nice padded Women’sshooting shirt. Try Classic Upland Supply. Most women like gifts of clothing.

Go ahead and schedule some shooting time. Make it easy for her to say yes.  If you’re in the kid-rearing part of life, get a babysitter lined up.  If you’re still dating, keep things unintimidating. Think outdoor ranges or ranges where other women frequently shoot.

If your gal isn’t the type of person you think should own a gun. Don’t despair, there are always chocolate guns!

I would suggest you stay away from the gun jewelry.  Most of it just looks like something a 19 year old gang member would wear.  I’ve have seen a few exceptions, but it’s tricky, just steer clear.

For all you singletons among the readers, I highly suggest you treat yourself to one of the above.  After all, everyone’s allowed a special something for Valentines, go ahead, spoil yourself.

Make this Valentines Day one to remember. I’m betting you won’t soon forget the way she cradles her handgun.

-Calamity Jane

50 comments… add one
  • Yikes! January 24, 2013, 12:19 pm

    It’s a trick! Don’t do it!

  • Charles,,,, January 24, 2013, 12:33 pm

    I’m with Yikes, anything bought can and will be used against you, ahem!! Wonderful idea CJ, all my lady’s shoot and the men are hard pressed to do as well… cept one, she flinches so much while shooting a rifle, guess I’ll have to research how to overcome such.
    CJ, how about a post on GLUES, I had need for some superglue but none was about so I broke into the stash and altho the package wasn’t opened it was as hard as a brick, bought it and other types of glue back in 2010, still in the packaging, no holes poked in any of the tubes but all brands and types had hardened in the tubes… do you have any home reciepes???? Or storage ideas?

    • S.Q. Whrill January 24, 2013, 8:00 pm

      Have a look at master bond website. They have a lotof glue’s to choose from

    • Calamity Jane January 25, 2013, 11:29 am

      Charles, unfortunately, I’ve had the same experience as you. Glue doesn’t seem to store well, which kinda makes sense if you think about it’s designed characteristics.
      Home recipes… wasn’t glue made out of hooves back in the day? If I remember correctly, you boil down hooves of horses and somehow end up with glue. :-D I’ve never tried it.

  • smokechecktim January 24, 2013, 12:44 pm

    homemade glue recipes sound like a great idea. I seem to remember my greatgrandfather when I was small making glue using animal bones, but i may be wrong. As far as valentine gifts…my wife used to have a license plate frame that said “hand over the chocolate and no one will get hurt.”

    Gun control is not about guns…..It’s about control

  • Yikes! January 24, 2013, 1:16 pm

    Maybe I should elaborate on that.

    I go to a range with several hundred members, and I have seen 2 women there in 3 years. One came to shoot with her father, and the other with her husband and son. And I’m usually down there twice a week.

    Moreover, I’m sure y’all know I like to go on about guns. I learned pretty quickly that that drives almost all women completely insane. So I’m pretty sure that giving one a $500 Beretta Nano in a bouquet of roses (oh yeah, I’d go all out) would provoke confusion and hostility.

    I kind of accept that. A girl sent me a dozen pink roses once for Valentine’s day, and I was confused about that… because everyone knows that guys generally see no practical value in roses (correct me if I’m wrong… Cory, TR, Justin, Jar, whoever else). It doesn’t matter why I don’t care about roses. I just don’t. Jewelry is much, much worse because it’s expensive. If that girl had bought me a nice expensive gold necklace with a pretty butterfly on it, I’d have lost my shit. Buying a gun’s worth of butterflies is insane.

    Buying a woman a gun is like buying a man a pretty butterfly necklace. There. That’s it.

    Women like roses and chocolates and jewelry that’s not made from spent .223 casings.

    Sort me out on this, Cal. You have a different point of view, being a woman and whatnot. And guys, get your wives in here to chip in. I want to hear it.

    • Calamity Jane January 24, 2013, 1:26 pm

      hahah I made my feelings clear. I think a gun would be a fabulous Valentines gift. But, I’m not one to drool over cut flowers, or jewelry. So, I may not be representative of the female gender as a whole. I’ve certainly be told that in many ways over the years. :-D

      That said, know your lady. If guns offend her for some reason, please ignore this entire post and get something that will make her heart beat flutter. No need for shock and disgust during the holiday of love. :-D

      • Yikes! January 24, 2013, 1:40 pm

        Sure, you’re one in a million though. I’m sure you get that all the time.

        Here I’m assuming that you’re more competent to make general observations about women than I am, being that you are one.

        Just because I don’t hesitate to take a position on something and defend it, doesn’t mean that I think I know all the answers. I have questions. Maybe I’m wrong.

        Are there other women reading this stuff? I want to hear what they have to say.

        Why are there no chicks at the gun range? Am I missing out on an entire community of women who want to go shoot stuff and talk about ballistics and gun legislation for hours? I might relocate for that.

        • ORRN on LI January 24, 2013, 3:40 pm

          Count me as 2 in a million. I would not mind a gun for V Day, but my other half isn’t in the prep kind of mind set I am, he’s in the land with denial running through it. The best I have is a .22 pellet gopher elimination rifle. I think most women prep the home front while leaving the defense of it up to the men.

          • Yikes! January 24, 2013, 3:57 pm

            Sure, but why? Women can read up on guns, go buy one and hit the range if they feel like it. They just don’t.

            Women can almost always shoot as well as the guys do, all things being equal. People don’t even make fun of pink rifles when they’re being out-scored with one.

            Maybe you should print out Cal’s post and leave it lying around.

          • irishdutchuncle January 24, 2013, 11:23 pm

            I didn’t know your husband was from Egypt…

            it’s your home too. What if…?
            I’m sure money is tight, but you need to get yourself something while you still can.

            (the country is in the state it’s in because
            “most women” are not like you, or like Calamity Jane)

          • Yikes! January 24, 2013, 11:39 pm

            Irish! I didn’t figure you for a feminist.

            I’m in agreement though. The trouble with women is that they don’t have enough guns.

            Get thee to a gunnery! toute de suite. That’s what I say.

            There is only a 6% chance of a federal gun ban. Look to your state though! Anything can happen at the state level. So yeah…. go get a wheelbarrowful of guns if you can.

          • irishdutchuncle January 24, 2013, 11:40 pm

            …and there are so many What ifs.

            what if the man of the house has to do a double shift at work? (and isn’t home) what if he gets injured? (but the threat is still there)
            when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

            knowing something about firearms is almost as important as knowing First-Aid. (much better than cuddling a teddy bear, while you wait for the ambulance)

          • Yikes! January 24, 2013, 11:44 pm

            I think you just lost your credibility as a feminist, Irish.

            No matter! We must press on.

          • irishdutchuncle January 24, 2013, 11:50 pm

            Yikes! it’s not that I’m a “feminist”,

            I just got very lucky in the wife department.

        • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 12:10 am

          That’s rather an understatement.

        • Calamity Jane January 25, 2013, 11:50 am

          Yikes, you ask why, so I’ll tell you some of the reasons that I don’t get to the range as often as I like.
          It is a bit of a men’s club. Not that I feel like I’m not welcome, but I DO feel like my children wouldn’t be welcome. And with one babe still nursing, I just don’t get to wander off to the range whenever I, ” feel like it.”
          Along the childcare line of things, pregnant women SHOULD NOT go to shooting ranges, due to the heavy metals that are vaporized. So, with the pregnant and breast feeding time accounted for, most women have a large gap during childbearing years when their access to shooting ranges is limited, even if they are enthusiastic gun owners.

          The over-helping does happen. It’s amazing how helpful men are if a woman has her car hood up or a gun in her hands. There’s usually rampant assumptions that I can’t possibly know what I’m doing with either one. It does ease once I become known in the area for smashing clays and taking names, but it can be .. annoying.. if I’m not practicing my patience.

          lol pink rifles… I have to admit, I’m not a fan, and I probably do make fun of them in private. I dislike them almost as much as I dislike the pink camo gear. It’s like makers of shooting/outdoor gear think women won’t be interested unless they can get it in pink. *gag* :-D

          There you have it, a few thoughts on why women may have disconnects when it comes to the shooting range. There are probably more reasons out there, but these top my list.

          • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 12:55 pm

            Now you’re talking! That’s great stuff.

            It goes to show how not married I am, that I didn’t really even think about the kid issues… but then, kids have two parents and should not really be any more of a constraint on mothers’ behavior than on that of fathers. Pregnancy and breastfeeding are another matter. Of course you shouldn’t be at a range if either of those is an issue, because of the lead at the very least. I should add that I spend most of my time in an academic environment and almost all of the women I know chose not to reproduce… so I don’t automatically associate women with being wives and mothers.

            I’m reluctant to help a woman out at the range, even if she’s looking into the wrong end of the gun. I’m a feminist. Let her blow her eyebrows off if she can’t work it out. I respect her autonomy.

            My only answer to the over-helping issue is that the guys will absolutely respect you if you demonstrate competence.

            I wasn’t suggesting that all women are going to want pink rifles. I just happen to know one who was catching flak for it. Bottom line is it doesn’t matter. If you like pink, realtree, or fuzzy dice on your rifle, just own it and move on. It’s not like there’s a rule.

          • irishdutchuncle January 25, 2013, 3:19 pm

            it’s a real shame they choose not to reproduce, since you would think they’d believe in evolution…

            they aren’t doing humanity any favors. population is more than a number.

          • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 3:41 pm


            You know their babies would be communists, right?

          • irishdutchuncle January 25, 2013, 5:08 pm

            … there’s a down side to everything, I suppose.

  • AuricTech January 24, 2013, 2:51 pm

    I’m reminded of this “Deep Thought” by Jack Handey.

  • Anonymous January 24, 2013, 3:36 pm

    I’m with Calamity, cut flowers are a complete waste. A potted plant would be more acceptable, but something useful would be preferred.

    I can’t see myself buying a gun, but if my partner was very interested in teaching me, I think it would be cool to learn a new skill. I asked my father to teach me once when I was younger, but he thought it was too dangerous.

    • Yikes! January 24, 2013, 4:08 pm

      I hear you on the cut flowers. Give me a living tomato plant any day, my friend.

      Why can’t you see yourself buying a gun? Is it a lack of interest, or just a persistent sense that it’s dangerous?

      • Anonymous January 25, 2013, 12:11 am

        Well I live in Canada for one thing, so unless you are hunting like my dad used to, I don’t think guns are that common. I don’t even know where one would go buy a gun or visit a shooting range within a two hour drive from my home. My dad probably hasn’t even purchased a gun since the ’70s or ’80s.

        There is always a certain level of danger with guns, but I’d have to say that it’s mostly lack of interest. As always, there isn’t enough time for everything one wants to do in life, so I’ll continue to work on my gardening/preserving skills for now.

        Finally I live in a rural area, where everyone knows everyone else and there are strong family connections, so things would have to get very, very bad for me to consider that using a gun was a necessary action.

        • irishdutchuncle January 25, 2013, 12:55 am

          Canada is a pretty big place.

          are you rural enough where you are, that “problems” from Detroit or Chicago will never reach you? no four legged predators to view your offspring as dinner? no liberal neighbors habituating the bears to human interaction?

          well stocked supermarket close by? (so hunting is only for sport?)

          • Anonymous January 26, 2013, 1:23 am

            It would take more than a day to get to Detroit from here. It is a 4 hour drive to the nearest major center (300,000 people) and the largest predator would be a fox or coyote – so it is both remote from hoards of people and bears. The nearest city/town does have great supermarkets and theoretically I could bike there, but the road conditions make this unsafe most of the time (too much ice and snow now, and too many erratic drivers in summer).

            I definitely feel much safer now than during the years I lived in a high rise apartment building in the middle of a city of one million.

          • irishdutchuncle January 26, 2013, 10:20 am

            …then yes, your need for a firearm isn’t as pressing as it would be if you lived here.

          • irishdutchuncle January 26, 2013, 10:26 am

            the coyotes we have here are a danger to small children. (in town, or the suburbs they habituate to humans also)

          • irishdutchuncle January 26, 2013, 11:15 pm

            …and by “here” I’m speaking U.S. as a whole.

            Pennsylvania has had coyote sightings in every county, but no children have been eaten. most of our bears stay to the north of the Appalachian Trail. (four legged wolves and cougars only in the zoo for now…)

          • irishdutchuncle February 5, 2013, 12:03 am

            …also we have some subcultures nearby which are into cock-fighting, and/or Dog fighting.
            (I’m right in the middle, between Reading, Allentown, and Philadelphia)
            With ORRN’s pellet rifle, an escaped rooster might become Coq au Vin.

            the fighting dogs just about give me nightmares. Most of the Pitbull’s around here are good dogs, with responsible owners…
            still, I worry. if a pitbull is tearing-up the neighbors little yappy dog, I’d feel real bad. (and probably try to do something) if a pitbull is trying to tear-up one of the neighbors clildren… it would be a crime to wait around for the “authorities” to come around and do something.

  • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 12:21 am

    Fair enough, Anon.

    My principal hypothesis on why i don’t see lots of women at the range it that they have better things to do (“better” being highly subjective). They’re just not interested.

    My secondary hypothesis is that guns are inherently destructive, and women tend not to find that as exciting as men do. They’d rather avoid destructive stuff.

    My tertiary hypothesis is that gun ranges are boys’ clubs and women avoid them because they feel like they either won’t fit in, or will draw negative attention.

    Just some thoughts. I appreciate your input.

    • PreppingMomma5 January 25, 2013, 9:03 am

      I would say that your tertiary hypothesis is probably up higher on the list. A lot of women have decided that feminism is essentially equal to flaunting what you’ve got to get ahead. At least that’s what I see from the majority of women I know. (As well as being one). As opposed to my idea of feminism which would be being able to do everything that I have to to keep myself and my family alive. And given that all of my brothers have married insecure women who happen to be absolutely gorgeous, it only clinches that for me. If my hubby bought me a gun, I would go bonkers in a good way, but since I was the prepper first, and have bought all of our guns we’re going about it backwards. He got a get home bag for Christmas since he works 40 miles away. It’s too bad that most women are wimps, and I don’t mean to be harsh on my sex, but out of all the girlfriends I have, none of them are prepping for any reason. The majority of them don’t feel that they could use a handgun to defend their families. I still love them though. I guess being raised with all boys gave me an edge! And I’ll take it. However, I will admit I don’t understand how so many women can be intimidated by men. I think I may be nervous being the only woman at an all male event, but that wouldn’t prevent me from going and would only push me further in my abilities since I would probably be judged by some people. I guess that’s answering my own thoughts- women are afraid of being judged.

      • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 10:36 am

        I hear ya. I actually put that last for two reasons. First, it’s my least favorite explanation. Second, I didn’t want to presume that most women were scared of the boys.

        In my experience, the worst thing that happens at the range is that women tend to get over-instructed. One shows up and 20 guys, mostly well-meaning, will all try to give her advice until she hardly gets to shoot at all. As a guy, I could hang around there all day and nobody would bother me so long as I leave my earmuffs on and scowl enough.

        There’s also a question of teasing in boys’ clubs. The guys pick on each other all the time. It’s reciprocal in that you’re expected to give as good as you got, and it’s generally a sign that you’re part of the group. I have occasionally had the impression that some women take it seriously, and actually feel picked on. I could be wrong.

        If you were raised up with boys, none of this is probably news to you.

        Everyone’s kind of afraid of being judged. When you are, you just have to look carefully at the judges. If that doesn’t make you feel better, I don’t know what will.

        Thanks for the input. That’s what I’m looking for.

    • Anonymous January 26, 2013, 1:59 am

      Yikes! I would agree most with your secondary hypothesis, but I’d probably use the word “wasteful” rather than destructive. Manufacturing all those bullets just to shoot at a paper target … yes I know one needs to practice a skill, but there must be a more efficient way to go. Waste of any kind just makes me cringe.

      The comments about the presence of heavy metals which are unsafe for pregnant women to be around makes me not want to be around them myself. If I make a great effort in the rest of my life to avoid chemicals, pesticides, carcinogens, etc. I’m not sure I would purposely expose myself to hazardous materials.

      I personally wouldn’t be bothered by the “boys club” aspect of things. My interests have led me to a couple jobs where I was the only female in the office or work crew.

      Now that I think about it, having an unloaded gun to point at someone in a bad situation might be just as well for me. Then it couldn’t be grabbed and used against me. But I’d need some kind of other skill for backup, like Krav Maga. But again, living in a rural area, I’m not sure how I’d learn that!

      I really have no knowledge of any of this – it’s just off the top of my head.

      • Yikes! January 26, 2013, 10:57 am


        You’re right that shooting is kind of wasteful, but I would put it to you that the waste is limited by people’s budgets. People at ranges generally recycle almost all of the brass, and a good portion of the lead. Shotgun shells are the worst in that regard because they’re big, plastic, and go right in the trash.

        But decorating the house for Christmas is also wasteful, and women do that. I’m skeptical of waste prevention as a generalizable explanation, though I see your point.

        That’s cool that you’re confident in homogenous groups of guys.

        If you feel pretty safe where you are, you’re probably better off not messing with guns if you don’t like them. I’m not trying to convince anyone to start shooting. I was just exploring the gender gap in the practice.

        Maybe the waste of it resonates with more people than I realize.

        • Anonymous January 26, 2013, 8:21 pm

          I’m not a typical woman, so you probably can’t generalize very much of what I’ve said. I’m not into decorating for Christmas, actually each year I try to get others to cut back. My favorite “present” this Christmas was when one of my sisters made a donation in my name to one of my favorite charities.

          So back to the original premise of a gun for Valentine’s Day – while I wouldn’t jump for joy to receive it, I could see the utility of it more than say a diamond ring (which I would worry contained conflict diamonds or gold from a mine that polluted some poor village).

      • irishdutchuncle January 26, 2013, 10:39 pm

        Lots of modern indoor shooting ranges have HEPA filtered air conditioning, so your exposure to the lead and mercury is very low. some popular calibers are available in steel cased cartridges…
        steel in the waste stream is always recycled.

        an unloaded firearm is only useful as a club. (and forget about toy guns, they’re totally useless…)
        as a rule, one never points a firearm at anything which doesn’t need to be destroyed. (and all guns are loaded, even if they aren’t) “conflict” diamonds only happen because people have allowed themselves to be out-gunned by the “authorities”. (another reason not to give them a monopoly on “force”)

        • irishdutchuncle January 27, 2013, 2:22 am

          …or the authorities have allowed themselves to be
          out-gunned by the communists. (I better quit now, while I’m behind…)

  • Pineslayer January 25, 2013, 12:36 am

    My girls are spoiled, there I said it. They don’t even know how spoiled they are. Guns, gear, and jewelry. I do laundry and dishes too. Dogs are spoiled rotten too. Everyday is Valentines Day, at least a couple times a week. Life is good. Unless you believe in Zombie’s.

    • irishdutchuncle January 27, 2013, 12:05 am

      4 types of rum, apricot brandy, fruit juice, and a cherry on top!
      I believe!

  • Ray January 25, 2013, 9:01 am

    I’v tryed giveing her gold-guns-dimonds-silver-flowers and cards. She cares for none of it, What makes her happy? Letting her sleep in on saterday while I play with the munchkin,Me doing the laundry/dishes/shoping- letting her mow the lawn(she loves it-go figger) She says I’d be the perfect husband if I’d win powerball.

    • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 10:17 am

      So what you’re saying is: being nice to a woman is better than giving her chocolate, flowers, or guns?

      That’s crazy talk.

      Why would you stop her mowing the lawn?

    • ORRN on LI January 25, 2013, 11:08 am

      Let’s see, get up late, ride the John Deer slowly, with a cold beer, music in my headphones, getting a tan……..or kids and house work, any further question?

      • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 1:00 pm

        Well I didn’t ask why you wanted to mow the lawn. I asked why he’d bother stopping you from doing it.

        I guess that whoever isn’t on the mower has to deal with the kids.

        • Ray January 25, 2013, 10:06 pm

          Whoever gets to the mower escapes spongbob, timmy, cosmo and wanda. (If you have kids and a TV you get this) I tryed giving her a Mod 19S&W, its still mine. I tryed giving her a 1/2 carrot diomond ,its still in the box. I gave her a 200 piece Havalend(spell?) china set ,she never uses it. I have 12 rose bushes in the yard(her idea) . She says candy makes her fat. This is a half German half Sweadish workaholic,who haveing grown up on a dairy farm thinks that working 2 jobs while going to her third grad school and pulling 430 clinical hrs. in 96 days is “just keeping busy”. If she wants to ride around on the jhon deer I say OK .

          • Yikes! January 26, 2013, 12:32 am

            Sounds reasonable.

            Still, avoiding spongebob is high on the list.

  • JL January 25, 2013, 2:57 pm

    I do like flowers and jewelry, but I liked when my husband brought home leftover flowers from work. Flowers are so expensive, the only time I expected flowers was when I had a baby. I would much rather have a gun. I buy Valentine chocolate the day after on sale.

    • Yikes! January 25, 2013, 3:43 pm

      Pragmatic. Nice.

  • HORSESERGEANT January 26, 2013, 5:09 pm

    Was I on the ball for once. Bought a Charter Arms “South Paw”, wife is a lefty. Extremely lightweight- aluminum frame, stainless cylinder, simple revolver, using low recoil .38,


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