Hey Mr. Squirrel, Won’t You Be My Dinner?


My mother has long been a bird watching fan and we always had numerous bird feeders in the back yard. The plethora of squirrels frequently annoyed her, though, because they ate all the bird seed and chased the birds away. My father was often at work, so she delegated the squirrel termination duties to me. Being young and never questioning mom’s orders I thought nothing of loading up the old Ruger 10/22, resting the barrel on the window sill and pop-popping away. This was a virtual daily experience as the squirrel population never seemed to decline. It became so customary that my dog would start whining whenever I brought the rifle out, because she knew there’d be a loud noise followed by the *ting* *ting* of shell casings ejecting into the kitchen sink.

That was many years ago, though. Eventually, as I grew older, I began to question the practice of terminating squirrels just because they were hungry. Then one day I wounded a squirrel and it was on the ground flipping around. I went outside with a Ruger .22 single-six handgun, pointed between its eyes and pulled the trigger. *warning, graphic description* The bullet went right between its eyes and the eyeballs – literally – popped out its head. It was totally gross, and . . . eye opening (nyuck, nyuck, nyuck). After that incident I refused mom’s squirrel slaying demands. Mice, though, I never thought twice about them.

It’s not so much that killing them was the problem, it’s that I was killing them and not doing anything with them. Well, sometimes I cut their tails off and dried them out for bookmarks. In fact, (weird story) I even gave a dried squirrel tail to a high school Spanish teacher once. She loved it! Then some student stole it off her desk – but I digress.

I’d have felt differently about the whole thing if we ATE the squirrels. Then I wouldn’t have felt like it was wasted life. WTSHTF, have no doubt, the squirrels roaming my yard will be in my crosshairs PRONTO! I won’t wait until my food stores are depleted and I recommend you don’t either. Make your food supplies last, and bag the squirrels before your neighbors do. Freeze ’em, dry ’em, eat ’em.

Don’t feel like a low-life for doing it, either. For some people it’s fine dining. Check this action from a restaurant in Great Britain that’s serving up grey squirrels with reckless abandon:

Lord Redesdale’s Red Squirrel Protection Partnership specialises in trapping and despatching greys to protect the reds. The partnership has killed 4,521 greys since January, and Lord Redesdale said: “The problem is that when we catch and despatch greys, there is nothing we can do with them.

“We would like to be a supplier of grey squirrels. With an estimated five million greys in the country, there are enough of them to go round.” James Cookson runs the Flying Fox sales and marketing venture for food and rural businesses, based near Morpeth, Northumberland, which also features the Comfort at Meldon Park restaurant. He said: “Grey squirrels can be eaten and there is no reason why they shouldn’t be eaten. “It makes sense if you are catching something to make use of it. We have some grey traps set at the moment and I would be willing to try it, without a doubt. If we could get enough greys and a suitable recipe then I can see no reason why it shouldn’t be on the menu. Our reds are disappearing, and perhaps the more greys that are eaten, the better it is for the reds.”

Check the full article here. Of course, if you’re a restaurant offering squirrel just know that you’ll likely be the target of the PETA folks. Check this action also from Great Britain:

A new squirrel dish introduced by a restaurant has been taken off the menu after staff were threatened with violence by animal rights protesters. Chefs at the Hadley Bowling Green Inn near Worcester came up with squirrel terrine as a starter this summer, using squirrel and foie gras pate. The restaurant said it is committed to providing fresh and interesting dishes but it is off the menu for the moment. Customers were also threatened with violence.

Check the full article here. If you’re lucky, you’ll even bag a monster squirrel. You could eat for a month off this thing:


Thanks for sending the pic, Rich.

– Ranger Man

22 comments… add one
  • Dragon February 19, 2008, 7:17 am

    I shoot them with blunted arrows. That way you can save the brains to tan the hide. all critters have just enuff brains to tan their hide. to make the blunts I use 38 casings glued to a wood shafted flu-flu. effective to the extreme. Dragon

  • Friend of Animals February 19, 2008, 10:23 am

    As someone who takes all life as being a gift from God – who tries to help all life – human and animal survive – I find your practices abominable. Squirrels are God’s little gardeners and the spread of seeds for trees and plants are most often planted by squirrels. They contribute massively to the circle of life. Nope, not a fanatic – just someone who prefers life to death. Become a vegetarian – its healthier!

  • worrbaron February 19, 2008, 11:09 am

    HAHAHA, seriously? Now what is the best way to cook them?

  • ryan February 19, 2008, 11:36 am

    The pic is cool. I think squirels in addition to bigger game would start to be seen less and less if it was TEOTWAWKI time. Don’t depend on them as a food source but take advantage when game pops up.

  • Mom February 19, 2008, 1:18 pm

    The secret is out!!! Real moms are always ready should the SHTF. After all, I do have the secret family recipe for roasted squirrel with glazed root vegetables. Want to come down for dinner?

  • Bob Afrito February 19, 2008, 2:13 pm

    That is one BIG squirrel.

    Mom, if you’re offering, I’d love to come over for dinner! Nothing like a good home cooked squirrely meal!

  • Buzz Kimball February 19, 2008, 5:14 pm

    i have a ruger six with a scope in the gun safe, so i lend out my .177 and a can of hollow points for the big rats with bushy tales.

    one shot one kill.

  • Varmint Eater February 19, 2008, 6:53 pm

    In an Urban or Suburban SHTF setting, I’d go after pigeons first, then squirrels, and then crows. After that better keep an eye on your dog.

  • vlad February 19, 2008, 8:49 pm

    Survival Guns by Mel Tappan
    page 177 quote ” In a barrel of 22″ or longer the CB cap is almost totally silent. At a distance of 8 feet from the muzzle of my 24″ Anschutz, the sound level from firing was only 9 db, and at 15 feet was totally inaudible.” unquote

    You can shoot in your house with a suitable backstop, say ten inches of old phone books tightly bound. Your neighbors will not hear it.

    CCI 22 CB Long 29 gr @ 720 fps = 33 ft lb.
    22 CB Long shoots about one inch into soft pine. I have made one shot kills on rabbits, pigeons, housecats out to 30 yards.

    Remington 22LR subsonic 38 gr HP @ 1050
    has 90 ft lb. It is only slightly louder than the CB.

  • Rushman February 19, 2008, 9:58 pm

    Tree Rats must DIE!

    Don’t forget about ground hogs too!

    LOL Yum Yum Yum for the Tum Tum Tum!!!

  • Dragon February 19, 2008, 10:10 pm

    Dear friend of animals,If we are not supposed to eat animals,then why do they taste so good with ketchup?

  • Greg February 19, 2008, 10:34 pm

    Vlad – CB Longs are great for a pistol range in the basement of a house in the city. The neighbors are none the wiser, anyone who knows , and if not of the same mindset, thinks you’re nuts and leave you alone, and those who are of like mindset say “Damn! Why didn’t I think of that?”

    Friend of Animals – I understand. I love little creatures too; but when it hits the fan, please don’t be upset if I eat your share. Just don’t bother me with unsettling noises as you slowly die from starvation. Greg

  • Dragon February 20, 2008, 3:01 am

    Look at the story about the rodent that was 8 feet long (the photos part).6 of 19
    Uruguayan scientists announced in January that they found the fossilized remains of a rodent that was more than eight feet long and weighed between 1,700 and 3,000 pounds. Josephoartigasia monesi, whose skull is seen above in an artist’s rendering, roamed South America about 4 million years ago.
    Hmmm thar son on second though hand me the magnum….It’s coming right for us!!!

  • vlad February 20, 2008, 11:46 am

    Carnivores identify their herbivorous prey by scent.

    Might a vegan vegetarian in SERE scenario by considered prey by large carnivores? Might that account for some attacks on humans by bears and mountain lions?

  • Dragon February 20, 2008, 7:23 pm

    Vlad, You might find that the humans attacked were wearing some scent like “old spice” or some such…To a bear any such scent might be considered a condiment…
    a lot of “scents” are made from animal glands. Dragon

  • John February 22, 2008, 11:58 am

    Pat skinned pieces w/beaten egg, dip in mix of flour & 4-C breadcrumbs, drizzle w/1/4-cup melted butter & bake at 350 for 40 minutes.

    Mmmmmmm….oven-fried squirrel beats chicken hands-down.

    Last I checked humans were omnivores, which means WE EAT MEAT along w/a lot of other things.

    As far as vegan goes, ‘eat well, exercise, and die anyway’ – I do not want to live an extra few years if it means giving up MEAT.

    PETA = People Eating Tasty Animals

  • LaRemnant May 19, 2008, 11:25 pm

    Vegetarian… originally spoken vegah-ter-han… is an old Native American word… it meant poor hunter. lol :o)

  • dragonslayer June 3, 2008, 9:19 pm

    Friend of animals, I take it from your post that you believe in God. If that be the case, before you go getting all warped out of shape about those of us who eat the flesh of critters, get your bible and read Genesis chapter 9, verses 1-6. I believe that will answer your questions about whether or not God intended us to eat meat. Cheeers.

  • Bob August 14, 2008, 7:06 pm

  • CHARLES December 23, 2008, 11:39 am


  • Chefbear58 December 8, 2010, 11:04 pm

    @ EVERYONE EXCEPT FRIEND OF ANIMALS! Ya’ll are pretty funny and right on point! FOA- Have fun starving while I dine on your cat! Stir-fry anyone?! Just kidding, but SERIOUSLY?! You have NEVER eaten meat? I find that hard to believe, BY THE WAY, MOST of those “vegetarian” “foods” contain animal products. Even that artificially flavored chicken ramen contains chicken fat! Also you should know, if you go to a restaurant (I know, hence the name) and order some “crunchy” PETA crap off the menu, 90% of the time it has animal fat/products in it (yes even that “veggi-burger”) -OR- its cooked right next to a big greasy burger! Just so your “informed”.

    Squirrel is awesome, try using it in place of rabbit in “Hossenffefer” its AMAZING! I like it best dusted with salt and pepper, cooked on a spit over open coals…. DELICIOUS! Dip it in tempura/beer batter and fry, grill -w- BBQ sauce, bake, broil, roast…. any way it comes tree rat is great! My girlfriend makes “squirrel gravy” served over biscuits.

    For those who think it, or any other wild game is to strong in flavor, try a simple brine. 4 parts water, 1 part sugar (I like brown/raw), 1 part salt, a few whole peppercorns if you like (I do). Soak in brine for up to 6 hrs. (more for larger game), cook and eat. The salt extracts water from the muscle fibers and replace it with salt, sugar, water and whatever flavoring you add (rosemary and thyme are nice to). It helps to tenderize the meat and play down some of that “gamey” flavor.


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