Lol – oh come on, you know the idea has crossed your mind at least once. Maybe it was as a kid, but everyone at some point thinks pirates are cool.
Let’s say that The End Of The World As We Know It actually hit. Maybe it was a nuke juice exchange on a global scale, some avian flu wiping out 2/3s of the world’s population, or something else equally horrific. Pick your planetary apocalypse, but the end result is the same – a whole world of hurt. After the initial great die off people began forming communes (of sort) to assure mutual survival and defense. Sea borne adventures will be slow to start, but they’ll eventually take hold as society becomes slightly more organized, fishing takes place, and people in foreign countries look for sailors to take them “back home” so they can see what’s left, see if their family survived. THIS will be the opportunity for . . . PIRACY!
I’m not advocating anyone take this role after the shit hits the fan (ATSHTF), but some people will. Some people just don’t care. They’ll see the advantages to such a position, and there will be many:
- no need to grow your own food or make your own fuel – just take everyone else’s
- no laws on the sea and nobody to enforce what laws may exist
- difficult to get caught for your criminal acts
- potential safety at sea if everyone on land is getting raped and pillaged
- you can rape and pillage (if you’re into that sort of thing)
- you can take hostages and demand ransoms
- that black jolly roger flag will look REALLY freakin’ cool atop your ship
Like I said, I’m not advocating that YOU take this position. People will need law and order, not criminals and anarchy AFSHTF. Being a pirate hunter would be more noble, and it’s a profession that will quickly come to be once piracy becomes a serious problem. However, for blog post entertainment, lets look at how you can become a post-TEOTWAWKI pirate. (Note: these suggestions can also be used for how to become a pirate hunter.)
Step 1: Secure a ship – this one is obvious, but it assumes first and foremost that you know how to operate a ship. If you don’t, you’ll have to ally with someone that does. Your ship securing selection process may be easy. It might be as easy as going to the coast, finding a shipyard, and climbing on board. Given what will be the extreme difficulty in securing a fuel source, you’re likely going to need a sail boat. This is somewhat problematic, because a good pirate needs a FAST ship. A sail boat isn’t a FAST ship, but if it’s only sail boats that are on the sea, then maybe it won’t matter. You’ll just need a faster sail boat than the boat you’re pursuing. There is one alternative to the sail boat ATSHTF – a nuclear powered naval ship. Oh baby, this thing will be the mother ship of pirates. Chances are high you won’t find a team of people able to operate it, though – unless you’re already on one WTSHTF.
Step 2: Secure arms, lots of arms – yep, I mean this literally and figuratively. If it’s a big sail boat you’ll need a lot of physical arms to man the sails. You’ll also want firepower “arms” so you can intimidate and threaten your prey.
Step 3: Load plenty of non-perishable food on the ship – if you go hungry at sea, you can always fish, but don’t count on it. Otherwise you might be eating your crew mates. Of course, you’ll need drinking water as well.
Step 4: Load up on nautical maps – remember learning about the “trade winds” in high school history class? They’ll be in use again by old school style sailing ships (assuming people start building them again versus instead focusing on rebuilding oil infrastructure).
Step 5: Find a place to set up shop – along the coast is going to be your best bet, near ports just out of sight of land, around channels, etc. The theory is the same as looking at a road map. If you want to find a car, do you set up along a random stretch of road, or do you set up along an intersection? Exactly.
That’s about it, really. Having the shipping know-how is the most difficult task to accomplish, but the pay off potential is large. There are, however, drawbacks. The probability of death by a violent response is high, and seriously bad karma will come your way. If you take someone’s fish one day, and he might be looking for you (with all of his brothers) at the port
you’ll eventually have to enter. You’ll always have to watch your back.
But hey, maybe you’d look good with a hook for an arm, a peg for a leg, and a patch over your eye.
– Ranger Man
BTW: Yes, this post was inspired by more news from Somalia’s coast on pirates seizing a Ukranian vessel carrying Russian and Ukranian crew and loaded with 33 tanks and ammunition.
Also, JM sent me an e-mail asking (in so many words) if his Amazon order of items that he had purchased by using the SHTFblog Amazon search bar registered as a SHTFblog sale, because it wasn’t clear on his end. The answer is YES, and the response is THANK YOU!
Gotta run now, the presidential debate is on, and all my friends are over to play this game:
LOL – scored this video over from blogaboutbeer.com – and it’s a Maine based blog – gotta love that action ;-).