Guest post today. Angry Mike (that crazy bastard at is at it again. “Angry Mike” – lol – that shit cracks me up. We need a peace loving, dance through tulips kind of post from you so we can call you “Less Than Angry Mike” – at least for a day.


I was asked by a friend whether I would choose a knife, machete or axe in a survival situation if I could only have one and why I would choose it. My immediate response was that it would depend on where I would be. He then throws out an outlandish scenario, something to the effect of the government conducting an experiment with me in an undisclosed location and I had to grab one of them in 10 seconds or leave empty handed. I told him the machete would be my choice then.

He looked a bit puzzled, frowned and commented on my numerous knives and the fact that I currently have only one machete and one axe. He was expecting me to say knife. Now he wanted a thorough explanation of my choice. “It is simple” I said, “A knife can not effectively do what an axe or machete can do. An axe can not effectively do what a knife or machete can do but a machete can do most of what an axe can do and all of what a knife can do”. I think I fried his brain at this point as one eye crossed and he started to stutter.

Machetes have been used throughout history as tools and weapons as have axes and knives. It is a known fact that a small knife can not do the work that a large knife can but the opposite is often true. Anyone who has ever attempted to split a fallen tree limb for fire wood or build a shelter with a small knife will attest to this fact. Turn a large hunting knife on to the task and you are making progress. Put a machete to good use and you will make short work of it. An axe or hatchet would work equally well for this job.

If you need to clean a fish or clean and skin an animal a small knife could get the job done with patience and effort. A large hunting knife will probably be more effective. A machete, while being much longer and a bit unwieldy for the task will prove effective and will easily chop through bone. Using an axe or hatchet for these tasks would scare me though.

Good luck cleaning your fish and game. Most axes and hatchets are not capable of being sharpened to the point that they will easily cut, as they are designed to chop. I would be looking for another option like a smashed rock with a sharp edge, bringing me back to the equivalent of a small knife. At least you could chop off the head with the axe. Fish with entrails and scales anyone?

Let’s look at it from a self defense perspective. If all I had to defend myself with was a small knife such as a Swiss Army “Executive”, I wouldn’t. I would just fist fight the aggressor. It would be a useless and hopeless endeavor that would most likely do little more than piss my opponent off, after he was done laughing so hard he had to pee. A hunting knife would be much more effective from the defensive and attack standpoint as well as being intimidating to most people.

A machete gives you the advantage of a lot more reach through a longer blade that can be sharpened to near razor sharpness, the ability to slash, stab, slap and swing it at your opponent as well as flip it over and use the unsharpened edge to put a serious but less lethal whooping on him that is capable of crushing bone and inflicting serious trauma without deep cutting. It is also intimidating as all hell and most people would rather choose flight than fight when faced with a machete.

LOL! I’m so sorry here Angry, but I just gotta interject on your last sentence. Have you ever seen the movie Machete? LOL – no, me neither. I guess it’s still in production, but you soooooo gotta watch the movie trailer – LOL. It’s hilarious as shit. I have no intention of watching this trash movie, but the trailer is AWESOME! Plus – it has boobies! Choice quote: “They soon realize they just fucked with the wrong Mexican!” LOLOLOL

Is it just me or is that Cheech from Cheech and Chong playing the bad ass priest? Lol! Gawd, I hope that movie never gets finished – lol. I’m sorry, back to Angry’s post.

An axe or hatchet could be a very formidable weapon but you are limited to swinging it or jabbing with it, effectively turning it into a heavy stick. You are vulnerable on the down swing, you can easily be assaulted before you get your second swing off if you miss the first time and it can be grabbed and snatched out of your hands by your opponent with relative ease.

As far as prices go even the smallest Swiss Army knives are in the $15.00 range. A decent axe is in the $20-$50.00 range. A good quality hunting knife is in the $40-$100.00 range. A cheap machete can be purchased for around $8.00 and a good quality machete for less than $30.00 in most places.

It is my opinion that dollar for dollar and pound for pound, a machete is the ultimate survivor’s tool. That is not to say all of the others, as well as blades not listed do not have their place. If you are on a tight budget or can only take one, take the machete!

~ Angry Mike

Thanks Angry!

– Ranger Man

BTW: If I had to choose just one – you know what I’d choose – my survival knife on roids. That being said, the Crocodile Golok #2 machete you carry is pretty mean looking. I wonder if that Mexican Machete dude owns one – or two.

Also, news report – Food Prices Likely to Remain High

And, the Farmer’s Almanac is predicting a COLD winter. Is it just me or does the Farmer’s Almanac predict a cold winter EVERY winter? Year after year. Did you notice all of their advertisements for cold weather stuff in their pages? Hmmmm . . . . .

Now, go take a class from Weaponcraft. They’re the best – lol.

18 comments… add one
  • Mama Squirrel August 21, 2008, 6:35 am

    Yes, that is Cheech Marin. And I think “Machete” was the guy who played “Uncle Machete” in Spy kids. That kinda looks like a Quinton Terantino short, part of a larger spoof on actions movies…I didn’t see it, but it was out a year or two ago.

    How’s a couple of swords? We’ve got a 2-handed crusader, a katana (hand made in Pakistan), and a reproduction of Frodo Baggin’s “Sting”. Oh, we’ve also got a dagger my Great Uncle took off a Nazi in WWII. We likey blades.

  • Chigger August 21, 2008, 7:33 am

    That isn’t Cheech…it’s Danny Trejo. He has been in many movies playin Mexican and Native American parts. You may Remember him from Dusk ’til Dawn (Bartender) or Desert Heat (Johnny) many others too.

  • Phil in NC August 21, 2008, 7:55 am

    Danny plays “machete” but it looks like Cheech as the priest to me.

  • geologyjoe August 21, 2008, 10:23 am

    well i know what movie i’m renting this weekend.

  • theotherryan August 21, 2008, 1:00 pm

    I have a Cold Steel Kukuri that would be my choice in that situation. Best compromise I can think of. Unless I knew I was going to be chopping a lot of wood it is more useful then a hatchet. Ever try to cut small brush with a hatchet? Not fun times are bound to ensue.

    Now a Kukuri and a hunting knife would be reasonable to haul around or a hunting knife and a hatchet. Unless I was just hauling in tools I would have a real hard time justifying packing all 3 on my back myself. Now if it was a GROUP of people then I pack the Kukuri and a SHTF hommie packs a hatchet or a small ax and we all have hunting knives.

  • t August 21, 2008, 2:08 pm

    i would have to disagree that a hatchet cant be sharpened to the same sharpness as a knife. I have 2 wetterlings hatchets that are as sharp as any knife that i own. they also hold that edge far longer than my knives. a small hatchet can do everythign that a small to medium sized knife can do, it can also chop down trees.

  • Marine 83 August 21, 2008, 3:37 pm

    I bought one of the hand made throwing hawks, just cause I wanted to learn to throw it (which I did). I have found myself using it exclusivly when camping because it does such a good job. With that axe I can cut wood or throw it at a MBZ.

  • theotherryan August 21, 2008, 5:50 pm

    I almost watched the video at work before I noticed the warning about boobies. I am now at home and I watched it. I might just rent that movie. Who can turn down Danny Trejo the yoked tattooed guy who plays Mexican psychos and Cheech as an ass kicking priest with a pair of pump shotguns.

  • Jennersen August 21, 2008, 7:04 pm

    I am so watching that movie, and wish I knew a priest like that! That was sheer awesomeness!

    I agree with Ryan the Kukuri is the best of both worlds, and if stuck with one thing that would be it.

    I also agree with T. I own a Gransfors Brucks hunting axe. It is the sharpest edged tool/weapon I own, quickly followed by my Eickhorn und Solingen knives. I would not discount axes and hatches as not being sharp enough, but I guess that depends on manufacturer as those Swedes know how to make an axe.

    I am so watching that movie. LOL Sorry I am highly impressed by the blind action/coolness of that trailer.

  • Dragon August 21, 2008, 8:40 pm

    Better yet do a search for the Machine Girl….a sailormoonesque splatter flick from Japan…. if Machete meets machine girl he’s gonna lose…LOL

  • oneman August 22, 2008, 1:03 am

    if i had only one choice for a cutting tool… Grenade. Hands down. LOL. Wanna cut down a tree and skin and cook all at the same time! BAM! hehe. Just kidding. i never hear enough about grenades in a survival situations so i thought i would let you all mull that visual over in the ol’ noggin’. hehe

  • Angry Mike August 22, 2008, 1:07 am

    That is Cheech as the priest. I watched enough of his movies to know. He he he. Kukris are a great option but expensive unless you buy Cold Steels Kukri MACHETE. I am a wholesale knife distributor. Go to my site to the knife page, find the brand you want and visit the manufactures site, give me the model/brand number(s) and I will give you a quote at WAY below retail. I am required to place a minimum order so I have a $175.00 min. on anyone who wants to order. Have a group? I can give you the hook on the sharp stuff as well as other stuff in bulk.

  • tweell August 22, 2008, 1:29 am

    The Farmer’s Almanac has a very good record on their weather predictions, much better than the National Weather Service. You believe in Global Warming and its prophet Al Gore, so don’t bother with cold weather gear or fuel. To do otherwise is to doubt the great one and his Nobel prize. Me, I’ll be getting some new coats and taking the pickup out for some wood.

  • Kipper August 22, 2008, 5:55 am

    A saw backed machete, what cant you do with that well?? (that you can do with a knife or an axe)

  • Sawbuck August 22, 2008, 8:40 am

    That trailer was part of the “Grindhouse” Tarantino/Rodriguez double feature a year or so ago of “Planet Terror” (Directed by Rodriguez) and “Death Proof” (Directed by Tarantino) – it was intended as an homage to all the B-grade drive-in movie spectaculars from the 1970s. We’d load 10 people in a full size Chevy and get in the $10 per car load. Then gorge on snack bar food and try to pick up girls – hope sprang eternal.

    I carry a Montana Americana Charlie’s Camp Knife as my do it all blade – but usually have several handy depaning on how close to home, vehicle, hiking pack, day pack, belt carry I am at any given time. The old Navy SEAL adage about handguns that two is one and one is none applies even more to knives. I carry as many as I can carry!

  • Mama Squirrel August 25, 2008, 6:23 am

    Grindhouse! Thankyou, Sawbuck! The hubby saw it, I didn’t.

    Checked IMDB…it is Cheech.

  • SOVIET October 28, 2008, 11:41 pm

    Machete hands down! Chop, cut, saw(if it has a sawblade on the back), pierce, and completely kick some serious ass- all in one simple and cheap tool, beat that!!!


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