Post Apocalyptic Hair Styles

Now,  we don’t have a television, so you can probably guess how many shows I watch. :-D  I do however take the time to check out post apocalyptic shows as I hear about them. Can I just say, I find the depictions of women to be absurd?  I mean, come on, it’s ridiculous!

It’s some form of the dark ages, technology is back to the iron age, but we’re supposed to believe that the 20-something female-supporting-character-potential-love-interest has access to a morning hair routine capable of producing salon fresh hair?

Ok, I got carried away there for a minute…

Let’s get real here.

The french braid is a great choice for longer hair.  Forget the softly tousled waves flowing over your shoulders, that shit is going to get tangled in gear and be in your face with every gust of wind or sudden movement. 

Katniss was at least believable in this respect in the Hunger Games. Braids are what my hair is in most of the time. I highly recommend you add a few different braids to your repertoire.  They can help corral locks without any gel or hairspray. (Dibs on the book title, “Where There Is No Hairspray.”) They aren’t just for gals either, hubby sports a braid most days. And no, Legolas is not my hubby. :-D If hair-ties ever get in short supply, or as seems more likely to me, you can’t afford them, strips of cloth or yarn could be used on the end of a braid.  I hear you can wet rawhide strips and as it dries, it will shrink, tighten, and harden into a rock-solid bond, that sounds like it would hold a bit of hair.

Buns are a classic choice of course. Buns can be held up with nothing more than a stick. They can work for hair that’s too long to braid.  They are hot though, if you have thick hair.

These hairstyles are easy and functional. I like that they can help to hide the fact that you haven’t washed your hair in a week. Because, let’s be honest, that’s a lot more likely than this.

I’m going back to my books.

– Calamity “don’t get me started on what they are wearing!” Jane

27 comments… add one
  • smokechecktim October 18, 2012, 9:56 am

    its the movie thing….havent you also noticed that when men or women wake up in the morning, in the movies or on tv, their hair is also salon fresh and doesnt look like mice have been nesting

    • Allyson Elaine March 22, 2017, 9:12 pm

      Like the character of Glenn Rhee was TWD lol his hair is always perfectly straight or wavy with not one hair out of place even when they’re on the road in season 5.

  • JL October 18, 2012, 10:15 am

    At least on “The Walking Dead ” they are dirty and hair looks like crap. I have stored alot of hair ties because i have long hair. So i will braid or put it up in a bun, a bun for to long gives me a headache though.

  • T.R. October 18, 2012, 1:04 pm

    Oooooooooooh K

  • j.r. guerra in s. tx. October 18, 2012, 1:51 pm

    Down here in extreme heat and high humidity of Texas Gulf Coast, I think the most practical hair style after ‘Things Go South’ will be extremely close cut hair, very similar to the the Walking Dead character Carol wears. I think ticks and body lice will cause a lot of trouble, and anything that helps you rid your body of infestation will help enormously. Complete baldness invites major sunburn though. Hats with that really like netting let the sun in and take its toll with bald guys.

    Well said JL, I know when I wake up when camping out, my semi-longish hair looks like its in ‘Disco 1979 mode’, its a party man, lol! We laugh when we see the photos after the trip is over.

  • not applicable October 18, 2012, 1:56 pm

    I have this weird condition. Right around the time I turned 40 my hair started falling out.
    Now I’m almost bald and I’m certain that it’s George Bush’s fault……sometime it sucks being a stud.

  • Jarhead Survivor October 18, 2012, 2:39 pm

    Not that I’ve ever had this problem, but this summer Mrs Jarhead really took care of business. Three things you never want to hear the person cutting your hair say:

    1. oops.
    2. That was the wrong guard.
    3. You like your hair short. Right?

    My hair is still less than an inch long and it’s been almost three months since she cut it! My hair hasn’t been that short since bootcamp. In a SHTF situation that’s definitely the way I’d wear it though.

  • Yoda October 18, 2012, 3:04 pm

    Right on Jarhead,
    My survival haircut is a brain surgery candidate.
    Urban Survival Radio Seminar Series:

    Thanks Jarhead,

    • irishdutchuncle October 19, 2012, 5:55 am

      Yoda, it’s “Calamity Jane” again. She’s the one that’s not “Jarhead” or “Ranger Man”.

      • 3rdMan October 19, 2012, 9:29 am

        He was replying to Jarheads comment post right above his I think.

        • irishdutchuncle October 20, 2012, 9:06 am

          comments go away and come back. a few of mine appear to have gotten lost, because I check back too often: I am SPAM. (spam I am)

      • Calamity Jane October 19, 2012, 1:54 pm

        hahahahahahahah I figured Yoda was replying to Jarhead’s comment. :-D I appreciate that you have my back though irish. :-D

        • irishdutchuncle October 20, 2012, 9:10 am

          … as I’ve mentioned previously, I may not agree with you on everything, but I’d definitely pick you to be on my team.

        • irishdutchuncle October 20, 2012, 9:28 am

          (see comments to your “youth hunting” post)

  • T.R. October 18, 2012, 3:37 pm

    Does it matter ? women can still have hair that is feminine and not butch dyke . Think of it this way , what did women do during the middle ages , the roman era , etc . etc . ………the way of life then was not very far off the mark on what a lot of people think its going to be like ………and they did just fine , even in the warrior cultures , the women looked feminine . Everybody man or woman is going to look a bit rough ………no big deal , not like NOTHING is going to work …..if you have purchased a solar charger , then you have clippers , you know how to use scissors right ? crap , my GF does hair as a side line , there are simple non mechanical or electrical devices that allow a woman to cut her own hair and make it look good . There are a thousand ways to braid and tie up your hair . I think women will have much bigger concerns if things get that bad …….like protecting their virtue would probably be #1

    • T.R. October 18, 2012, 3:47 pm

      I would think shaving would be a bigger challenge day to day than the hair on your head . Straight razors are about your only reliable option …………and until you get used to them , they are not easy to use for a novice . Generally speaking , the less hair on your body ….the cleaner you will be , and the cleaner you are , the better chance you have that you wont get disease , parasites , or infections .

      • irishdutchuncle October 18, 2012, 4:25 pm

        the major reason to shave is so you get a good seal with your gas mask…
        but yeh, the cleaner you are, the better chance you have.
        (especially once the fish and veternary antibiotics run out)

        • T.R. October 18, 2012, 6:03 pm

          I shave cuz I cant stand to be scruffy , not shaving to me is like not wiping after you pinch one off ………..just doesn’t feel right ;) too each their own ……and if whatever it is works for you ……more power to ya .

  • Elaine October 18, 2012, 3:43 pm

    Lololol *gasp* lololol exactly. And dont get me started on the inexhaustible supply of cosmetics

    • smokechecktim October 18, 2012, 4:44 pm

      elaine: Are you telling me that the ladies arent stockpiling sealed plastic containers of lip gloss and facial creams!!! Frankly I think most women look better with little or no makeup anyway.

      • T.R. October 18, 2012, 5:58 pm

        LOL at least you will have a better idea of what you are really getting ahead of time ………..from a mans point of view . But yeah , I personally like it when women use very little makeup …..less is more .

        • irishdutchuncle October 19, 2012, 3:48 am

          less is definitely more, in the makeup department. dazzle me by who you are, not by what you wear.

    • Calamity Jane October 19, 2012, 1:55 pm

      :-D Thanks for laughing with me. Sometimes I get tired of the serious posts and have to let y’all in on the commentary that goes through my head. I swear I could write 2 blogs a day on nothing but snark. :-D

  • Ray October 19, 2012, 10:21 am

    Yeh , my wife has been a nurse for 27 years, She keeps her hair real short. I asked her why once she says;”You Don’t EVEN want to know what flys around paitent beds” Haveing lived in the bush for months on end I know why 18th century women wore braids and mob caps .I keep mine “boot camp” short. My little girl(5 1/2) has long hair and its a toatl pain in the morning. (Vals back in NP school so I get Sara ready for school)

    • T.R. October 19, 2012, 12:50 pm

      I used to date a psych nurse ………she had some stories . All I can say is that there is no way I could do it , but I’m glad there are people that can . God bless them .

  • Reverend Jack October 21, 2012, 7:00 am

    I returned to my Boot Camp cut about 5 years ago (about 5 years after I left the Marine Corps). In all likelihood, if TSHTF I’d end up gowing it out a bit. Not by choice, though. My hair just grows too fast. I’ve tried to convince my teen to give up his skater hair, but no dice. The best I’ve gotten is, “When the zombies come, I’ll cut my hair like yours, Dad, okay? Not before.”

    My wife cuts her hair, my hair, and our kids hair. She keeps it long but could, in 15 minutes, have an attractive, practical, short cut (2 min in an emergency).

    • T.R. October 21, 2012, 4:04 pm

      Aye , if I let it go more than two days without knocking it back again , it gets out of hand fast .


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