Introducing the NEW Quantum Sleeper!
The PERFECT Bed System for YOUR doomsday desires.
Look at Betty!
Even she wants in on some of THIS action.
“Baby, shit could hit the fan today, let’s hit the hay!”
The basic model has an aluminum frame, polycarbonate headboard, and bullet proof plating. Burglars, natural disasters, gas attacks, you’re all kinds of safe inside the Quantum Sleeper. It has a bio-chem filter in case of a biological attack. This thing is even pimped out so you can open a tear gas canister, and seal off the outside air.
Is shit really bad outside? No problem, the Quantum Sleeper has a water circulation system, video screen integrated with a PC, video game hookups, microwave, fridge – you name it! Oh yes, survival ninjas and ninja-ettes, with the Quantum Sleeper, you can copulate your way through the coming cataclysm. Armed burglars in your bedroom making too much noise? Turn up the sound system and drown them out. Nuke juice spreading across the landscape? Fire up the short wave and sleep on it! Add additional structural reinforcing for protection against tornados, hurricanes, and such. Get everyone in the family a unit and you, the parent, can control the kids’ beds and talk to them via video screen – LOL – hot damn! I want one.
Oh wait, it’s not quite in production yet. They’re looking for investors to fund the development. The patent is also for sale. Projected cost of the basic unit is $135,000 . . . . ummm . . . .