WARNING: to my SHTFblog PETA party peeps – skip this post!
This post is a follow-up to the all too exciting Hey Mr. Squirrel, Won’t You Be My Dinner?
That was a fun post, wasn’t it? The comment section was particularly sexy. “Friend of Animals” commented:
As someone who takes all life as being a gift from God – who tries to help all life – human and animal survive – I find your practices abominable. Squirrels are God’s little gardeners and the spread of seeds for trees and plants are most often planted by squirrels. They contribute massively to the circle of life. Nope, not a fanatic – just someone who prefers life to death. Become a vegetarian – its healthier!
Preach it, bro! (Or is it sis?) In any case, you’re right. Being a vegetarian IS healthier, but . . . .
*Ranger Man cracks a beer*
“Does this mean you’re not gonna eat your squirrel?”
*licks his chops and lifts his fork*
“Do you mind?”
worrbaron asks, “What’s the best way to cook them?” Dragon talks about brains, and my MOM starts inviting everyone over for squirrel dinner! But before we get to baking, frying, boiling or steaming these little critters, we gotta CLEAN ‘EM!
Here’s a video for you to scope, but note. This guy’s technique is messy. Blech.
Dude, c’mon. This technique is much more smooth: http://www.backwoodsbound.com/xsquirrel.html
Not pictured in either approach is the soaking process. If you soak them before cleaning the hair won’t stick to the carcass, or less of it will. Soak ’em for like 10 minutes.
Now that you’ve got that formerly furry friend ready for the frying pan, generally speaking you can cook ’em the same way you’d cook a sweet hunk of chicken. Grey squirrels tend to have better taste and more meat. They’re less “gamey” than red squirrels. There are a lot of fancy, hoity-toity recipes out there. Just google some key terms and you’ll be swimming in ’em. Call me lazy, but if I gotta lay some grey squirrel down on the dinner plate, I’ll stick with good ole BBQ-ing action. Cover them with salt and fresh ground pepper, slap some sauce on ’em, and throw ’em down on the heat. *sizzle – sizzle* Wait a few minutes, flip ’em over, and cover ’em with more sauce. A-yumma yumma!
Now, for the ultimate non-PETA-friendly, totally awful, squirrel hating blog: http://www.shootingsquirrels.com/. It’s complete with videos and all. Regardless of what you think on the subject, his writing style is pretty rad. Check it:
I was working on a bunch of phone websites today (did you guys know I’m a web nerd and do this crap for a living?), and my wife came down into the dungeon and said she was going to take the dog to the vet and pick up the kids from school.
I mumbled something appropriate like, “whatever”, and off she went.
2 minutes later, she calls me on my cellphone and yells “I killed a squirrel”!
“OK, good for you”, I say.
She’s like, “no, really, it ran under the van a couple of blocks from the house, over by the park, and it’s squished”!
“So pull over and get a picture, you know that a dead squirrel is the best kind of squirrel”, I tell her, “and I can put the picture on the website and write off your counseling as work related”.
“This isn’t funny A**hole, It’s gross, and for that remark you can come down here and take your own damn picture”.
LOL! That’s rippin! He’s got t-shirts for sale and everything.
– Ranger Man
BTW: make sure YOUR backyard squirrel doesn’t have the last laugh.